I never thought much of my own mortality as a youth or young adult. I took chances on ski slopes, drove wrecklessly, accepted a ride from a total stranger, and did silly things that could potentially be harmful to my health. The idea that my life mattered was foreign to me. Don't get me wrong, I knew that my parents would be devastated if anything every happened to me. They had already lost two daughters; I was their only living girl, and I had no desire to cause them pain. Yet, I openly resented and rebelled against all their attempts to set boundaries for me. I'm not proud about that---it is proof of my stupidity and immaturity at the time.
But everything changed when I was 25 years old. Reason? Raechel. I remember, clearly, how knowing I was carrying a child redefined my sense of purpose. Suddenly, everything I did mattered. It mattered because I there was someone relying on me. Truly. It was up to me to keep my unborn child safe, healthy, protected---and then, once she was born, she was dependent on me for everything. Raechel brought to my life an entirely new dimension---that of being a mom.
Since Raechel's birth, and subsequently, the birth of all my children, my life has mattered in ways I could never have imagined in the ignorance of my youth. My children bring me inexpressible joy, and they have taught me how to love. Motherhood has given me a glimpse into Eternity and into the very reason for mortality. It is a gift for which I am forever grateful, and definitely makes my life worth living.
That's a good thing :-)
