Day 45

Today's quote is from my favorite writer (I seem to say this a lot... don't I?) But truly, C.S. Lewis is probably my #1 favorite across the board. I was feeling a little resentful today...and then I heard this on this quote, and it caused me to pause and reflect a moment on what it means to "lose myself in service." It's a bit lengthy, so get comfortable.

"The moment you have a self at all, there is a possibility of putting yourself first--wanting to be the centre--wanting to be God, in fact. That was the sin of Satan: and that was the sin he taught the human race. Some people think the fall of man had something to do with sex, but that is a mistake...What Satan put into the heads of our remote ancestors was the idea that they could 'be like gods'--could set up on their own as if they had created themselves--be their own masters--invent some sort of happiness for themselves outside God, apart from God. And out of that hopeless attempt has come...the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy."

I often moan and complain that I am tired...tired of saying "yes" to opportunities to serve, either in church or at work. When that happens, all I can think about is how exhausted and stretched to the limit I am; I long to enjoy time to myself. In short, I whine. Loudly. Granted, there is a need to take care of myself, but too often I fear I fall into the trap of entitlement---believing that I am entitled to something that I am not currently receiving. Dallin H. Oaks said, "Entitlement is generally selfish. It demands much, and it gives little or nothing."

I suppose, as in all things, finding the right balance is they key.

Sometimes I think I need a new locksmith :)